On my website, I'm described as a writer who was born in
India, raised in Zambia and brainwashed in America. A few
readers may suspect that the "brainwashed" part is more than
just a joke, but only my psychiatrist knows how much my
brain has been altered. Sometimes I wake up at night in a
cold sweat, screaming, "Axis of evil. Beware of the axis of
evil. Iran, Iraq, and Enron."
A decade ago, if you had asked me to name the smartest man
in the world, I would have said, "I'm not sure, but I think
it's Arnold Schwarzenegger. He convinced millions of people
that he could act."
Ask me the same question today and I will say, "Isn't it
obvious? Everyone knows that the smartest man in the world
is G.W. Bush. The 'G' stands for genius and the 'W' stands
for wisdom. Hail to the leader of the free world! May we all
be as wise as he!"
Yes, as you can see, I'm showing the effects of 18 months of
Republican brainwashing. But I haven't completely recovered
from eight years of Democratic brainwashing. I still can't
use the Internet without thinking, "Thank you, Al Gore! May
your children and grandchildren be blessed with many
websites."
If I've learned anything from living in three countries,
it's that brainwashing (or propaganda) occurs everywhere.
Sometimes it's mild, such as when an American football
announcer says, "The whole world is watching today's Super
Bowl," forgetting to mention that most of the world would
rather watch a soup bowl.
Other times, it's rather blatant, such as when the bombing
of Afghanistan is called "The War on Terrorism," though most
of the civilians killed -- thousands of them -- weren't
capable of terrorizing even their mothers-in-law. Hijack a
plane? Most of them would have trouble hijacking a bicycle.
Afghan farmer: "Hey Ahmed, let's take over that bicycle.
I will scare the owner with this sharp object."
Ahmed: "OK, Majid, but be careful! You might hurt him with
that banana! Perhaps you should try a less dangerous fruit."
When the U.S. soccer team defeated Mexico in the recent
World Cup, the ESPN announcer yelled, "The land of the free,
home of the brave is into the round of eight!" I can only
guess what the Mexican announcer shouted: "Oh mi Dios! The
gringos have trounced the land of the enslaved, home of
the cowardly."
We're led to believe that America is the greatest country in
the world, though some countries boast lower crime rates,
others provide medical care for all their citizens, and a
few have no country music whatsoever.
We're also led to believe that America is the most generous
country in the world, though foreign aid constitutes only 0.1
percent of gross domestic product (GDP), dead last among
developed nations. That's like a woman who earns $100,000
donating a cheap pizza every month to the Catholic soup
kitchen and expecting a big hug from the Pope.
Even in terms of raw dollars, America has trailed Japan
during the last decade, giving about $10 billion per year in
foreign aid, a large portion allocated to the poor nation of
Israel.
Don't get me wrong. I love America, mostly for all the
freedom we enjoy. But don't think for a moment that we're
immune to brainwashing. And if you don't believe me, just
ask G.W. Bush, the smartest man in the world.
Subject: WHO PUT MY BRAIN IN THE WASHER? 
Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:15 am
